People always say "BE YOURSELF", but you're never yourself,
because we live in a society that says skinny is in,
beauty is success, and being famous is everything...
it is not possible to be 100% yourself,
because people change around the ones they like,
the ones they hate, the ones they know,
and the ones they dont....

Of ASSignments and temptations

Ahhh! My stomach is banging like some Bangla horning the cibai putumayam traffic ass jam!
I promised myself this year that I'm gonna so lose weight, my target is to lose like 5kg from the farking barbeque and the pure awesomeness of Sitiawan food I ate on Chinese New Year, but look where am I now? Gaining weight again?! I mean wtf, every night my housemates would be ordering mamak and they'd just had to bang on my door to tempt me! kahnee naaa! STOP MUNCHING START JOGGING!

As a typical Malaysian living in Malaysia, how could you not resist the fucking Nasi Lemaks and Burger Ramlee and maggie gorengs lahhh? Aiyo why la am I borned in Malaysia?
I have to constantly remind myself to stop eating when I'm bored.
I need this man, how to get chicks with spare tayar? Huh? Later they think I'm a water bed where they can sleep on and forgot where am I.

I told myself to go swimming everyday in the Kolam Taik in my Condo, however when I jumped into the pool in the morning, its freezing like North Pole sial, damn guards had to chase me out saying that I can only swim in the evening, I mean like what the heck, whats the diff if I swim in the morning lah! He told me rules are rules =.= wtf right nothing better to do.

Oh ya! studying's a bitch la... I mean I'm just a normal student with full of temptations la. I can't just morph into super saiya NERD at the end of classes and walk to the library and be a Zombie from LEFT4DEAD. Sometimes I still think I'm a kid living in a playground. Just wanna have fun fun fun! Though I take pride in that, I know that it's wrong! I wanna be an A-Star Student mien. Then next time I can earn lotsa money to enjoy life's colourful temptations with no regrets!
Beer is NOT the solution to problems, and I MEAN THAT! Just gotta keep reminding myself beer is evil

Phone needs to be in the toilet bowl in whatever circumstances when I'm opening my books.
Thing is when I'm alone... My hands start to stray... NO! not down there... Strayed as in like me being here typing this shit. Sometimes, I will open the stupid Warcraft 3 game and click LOCAL AREA NETWORK without even thinking. It's like it's hardwired into my brain to just enter the game like how NEO entered the Matrix and download all the Kungfu moves without knowing wtf just happened.

I mean like seriously, DOTA is EVIL! You know what DOTA means? My friend Eugene once told me DOTA means Dunia Orang Tanpa Awek. I must have that mind-frame in my mind now or else, seriously its gonna get me all paranoid. I dowan to be TANPA AWEK lahhh!

Youtube's evil. Why is there so many idiots posting funny stuff in youtube for us to laugh at? I mean seriously don't they have degrees to complete or chicks to get? Seriously I hope karma will get back to you idiots making me laugh alone like a silly ass and all my housemates thinks It's creepy. PSYCHED.



Look at this stupid monkey la! Why he masturbate so slow one? How to pancut? Somemore wanna show off, thinks we humans go no dicks to shake.

Neways, my social life has been okay, cuz I've been going out like everydei! altho I need to POLISH my skills ON FLIRTING, *note to self* not to swear too much! Girls would be like swearing back at me if I do that and we start fighting like hujan Armageddon. Tonight MOS anyone? This would be one of Samantha's many farewells we are doing this week, man all my buddies are leaving to typical-chinaland-Australia! Why larrhhh! Are kangaroos that cute?

You know what. Everytime I take a shit in the toilet bowl, this stupid cicak would appear from nowhere and spy on me. Then I'd have to take the stupid hose and spray it away. Next day, it appeared from no where again. Seems like he's liking it. What a sonoffabitch. Okay this is totally random but yea I'm going to shower now and the thought just came to mind. Okay I'm heading to play some GOLF now at the driving range near my condo with my new classmate aka pokerkaki-stonerkaki-golfkaki-paintballkaki Eugene. Buaiz ala cinalala ahbeng style!

Dictionary Of Dating

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT: What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC: A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER: A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY: How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

The Great Leap

So right now I'm thinking of a CHANGE.
Changes could be good, it could be bad.
Changes are necessary to rid off the vices we inhibit.
Some changes are made subconsciously and some by will.
We all have choices in our lives. It lies down to only two choices.
To fight or flight.
2009 is here.
The world is changing, changing so rapidly that sometimes it freaks me out.
With a strong will at heart. I need this burning desire of CHANGE to keep me going.

What are your resolutions?

Someone

Right now, this very minute...

someone

is very proud of you

someone

is thinking of you

someone

cares about you

someone
misses you

someone

wants to talk to you

someone

wants to be with you

someone
hopes you aren't in trouble

someone

is thankful for the support you have

provided

someone

wants to hold your hand

someone

hopes everything turns out all right

someone
wants you to be happy

someone

wants you to find them

someone
is celebrating your successes

someone

wants to give you a gift

someone

thinks you ARE a gift

someone

hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

someone
wants to hug you

someone

loves you

someone

wants to lavish you with small gifts

someone

admires your strength

someone
is thinking of you and smiling

someone

wants to be your shoulder to cry on

someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

someone

thinks the world of you

someone

wants to protect you

someone
would do anything for you

someone

wants to be forgiven

someone

is grateful for your forgiveness

someone
wants to laugh with you about old times

someone

remembers you and wishes you were there

someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional

somebody

values your advice

someone

wants to tell you how much they care

someone

wants to stay up watching old movies with

you

someone
wants to share their dreams with you

someone

wants to hold you in their arms

someone

wants YOU to hold them in your arms

someone

treasures your spirit

someone
wishes they could STOP time because of
you

someone

can't wait to see you

someone

wishes that things didn't have to change

someone
loves you for who you are

someone

loves the way you make them feel

someone

wants to be with you

someone

hears a song that reminds them of you

someone

wants you to know they are there for you

someone
is glad that you're their friend

someone

wants to be your friend

someone

stayed up all night thinking about you

someone
is alive because of you

someone

is wishing that you would notice them

someone

wants to get to know you better

someone
believes that you are their soul mate

someone

wants to be near you

someone misses your guidance and advice

someone
values your guidance and advice

someone

has faith in you

someone

trusts you

someone

needs your support

someone

needs you to have faith in them

someone

needs you to let them be your friend

someone
will cry when they read this

Are you the SOMEONE I know?

Politics and soon-to-be Politicians

Anyone who can lie effectively is capable of using bullshit. Since it is an abstract form of currency, it is used to "buy" abstract things. For instance, a child can tell their parents that they are almost done with their school project and ask for some free time, even though they haven't even started yet. If their bullshit is of a high enough quality, then they can "purchase" some undeserved leisure and get away with it.

This basic practice is the same whether you are a small child or the president of a large country. If a person with strong bullshit production skills finds himself in a sticky situation, all he has to do is spend some bullshit to buy his way out. This is why most bullshitters find a career in politics.

Lets see what we have to hear from Obama/Omama on economics:

Our economic fortunes are changing! We must remain optimistic, however, and not let ourselves be discouraged from buying shiny things. My opponents want to not change the economy and keep it the same, but you can put lipstick on a pig, and it is still a pig, it is just a different name for the same thing. Now some liberals say I can heal lepers and raise the dead, so you know I can make an economic policy that does not make sense work by using change and hope, and hope for change, so that it does make sense. By increasing taxes while giving 95% of people tax cuts will solve all problems and definitely bring about change.

A young Obama. Either enraged at his lack of acceptance or stoned out of his mind. You decide.

Obama on foreign policy:
Kenya is high on my list of important countries to visit. I will also visit some white countries as well. I will also visit Canada but only when it's warm. I would visit Mexico except they all moved here. Also Even though they didnt vote for me >; I will recognize Alaska and open an embassy there. I will never recognize Israel or New York City.

And this is a short clip of Obama acheiving enlightenment from the all Holy Mr. T.

Rumors said that this then led him to be inspired in becoming a president.